I finished the rest of the book Wrecked and here is what I got and wanted to share:
The book talks about commitment and the 3 levels. The 3 levels are adventure, season, and marriage. Each level plays an important role in our lives. Adventure is the basic level of looking for thrills. Season is a short term commitment that lasts for a ‘season’. Marriage is a life time commitment. What you learn when you are forced into a level that you aren’t ready for is that you can do things beyond means that you think you can. You learn confidence when you are faced with insecurity.
“You can’t achieve success without pledging yourself to something. You can’t take a relationship to the next level without making a choice. Sure, it costs you something; it probably costs you a hundred somethings. Every choice to do one thing means a choice to not do something else. But it also costs you the anxiety of waiting, freeing you from the trap of decision paralysis. Committing to a cause sets you free.”
Part of understanding life is when to know when to walk away. In order to get to know what others are going through, you have to be on their level which means helping them carry around their baggage and getting dirty. At one point if you meet someone who drains you, you have to be able to walk away. When you aren’t capable of doing things you want to do to help, you lose hope and realize that you have to do something of value.
“Being wrecked is about us, but compassion is about others.” It is about building a legacy that lasts. After all feeling subside it is about building those commitments long term. Sometimes being wrecked means stepping out of your comfort zone and committing yourself to something long term. At that time you get pushed into being wrecked in a whole new way.
In the book the author relates to a phrase I often don’t care for too. “Do it while you’re still young”. The book points out that in life we go through seasons. At some points we explore our restlessness and other times we need to be stationary. “While you’re young, you will make choices that will change the way you see the world. You should stay up late and act impulsively, do a few things you’ve never done before. Not because the rest of your life is a bore, but because this is what this season is for. In the next, you will have to make other decisions- difficult ones- that will equally define you.” The whole point of being wrecked is to be led where you didn’t want to be and be happy that it led you there.
The end of it all it is giving up being wrecked and wrecking others. You never know how you are benefiting others so it is important to use your skills for others. “What it means to be wrecked-what it really means- is that you do the hard thing. You step into discomfort. When you bought that plane ticket or moved overseas or took that first trip to the inner city, you were fearful, anxious of the unknown. What wrecked you was the decision to move through that uneasiness and embrace what what you don’t know. It was an act of courage- doing the right thing, regardless of how you felt. And this is how life is. It is the same lesson learned over and over again: life is not about you”. The point is, you bring someone else along for the journey by making that commitment even if you are uncomfortable.
The book ends with saying this “My advice? Go for broke. Choose the hard option. Do what comfort screams “No” to- what will ultimately shape you and help others. It may be counterintuitive or against what you’ve been taught, but do it anyway. Step into inconvenience. Welcome the anxiety that comes with doing the right choice. And be wrecked once again.”