What Got You Here Wont Get You There
All I have left is to write this review and I did it. Book 5 of 5 in 3 days. So here goes:
What Got You Here Wont Get You There- by Marshall Goldsmith
If there are things about yourself that you want to work on, this is the book for you. Marshall is a coach of high level executives that helps people become more successful at what they do and his focus is their behavior. This book isn’t just for high level people, any person can find value in change.
He lists 20 habits that hold you back:
- Winning too much. The need to win at all costs and in all situations even when wining doesn’t really matter and is totally beside the point.
- Adding too much value. The overwhelming desire to add our opinion to every discussion.
- Passing judgment. The need to impose our standards on others.
- Making destructive comments. Needless sarcasm and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
- Starting anything with “no, but or however.” Seldom anything good comes after these and as negative qualifiers, they secretly say to everyone, “I am right and you are wrong.”
- Telling the world how smart we are. The need to show people we are smarter than they think we are.
- Speaking when angry. Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
- Negativity. “Let me explain why that won’t work” is a need to share our negative thoughts even when we were not asked.
- Withholding information. The refusal to share information in order to maintain control or an advantage over others.
- Failing to give proper recognition. The inability to praise and reward.
- Claiming credit that we don’t deserve. The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
- Making excuses. The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
- Clinging to the past. The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past.
- Playing favorites. Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
- Refusing to express regret. The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
- Not listening. The most passive aggressive form of disrespect of colleagues.
- Failing to express gratitude. The most basic form of bad manners.
- Punishing the messenger. The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
- Passing the buck. The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
- An excessive need to be “me.” Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they make us who we are.
The favorite part of my book was how we can change for the better (section 3).
I think most people make it a point in their mind to change but they don’t advertise that they want to change. Marshall explains this as advertising. “It’s not enough to tell everyone that you want to get better; you have to declare exactly in what area you plan to change” (Page 142). When I started this blog, I knew I would have to put it out to my readers what I plan on doing so that I stick to my goals. This is something I personally want to work on to hold myself accountable.
He explains the power of the handwritten thank you not which I couldn’t agree more. When you want to get the attention of someone for something they have done, write it and send it in the mail. E-mail and texting is what is popular. If you want to make someone feel important, go back to the traditional days and send a card. I think it is a great idea for even a birthday. Who does that? Exactly, which is why if you do, you can make people feel even more important and let them know they truly matter. I did this the other day with my sister and though the person hasn’t received it yet, I am excited about it much more than I would be if I sent a thank you email.
His last sentences of the book I think sums up the main point of all 5 books I have read over the past 3 days so I couldn’t have picked a better book to end this on…. “Know that you need to be happy now, to enjoy your friends and family, to follow your dreams. You are here. You can get there! Let the journey begin”