Today We Meet

So today I am going to meet Erika. Erika is one of Sean’s friends. This will be my first experience since the suicide spending time with someone that is on his side. This is a big deal for me and brings up a bunch of emotions good and bad.

Erika was looking to blame me at first. All of Sean’s friends and family did. I could have said mean things like they did to me but I knew that Sean wanted better for me and better for them. I share this with you because I want everyone to see a time where being mean would have been the easy thing but instead I tried to be the bigger person and it had a great outcome.

So today, almost a year after the suicide I get to meet a friend I have never met. Someone who shares a connection with me and will forever be a part of my history.

This conversation was started the day Sean committed suicide.

  • Conversation started April 13, 2012
  • Erika

    You don’t know me but I hope you’re happy with your accomplishment on ending the life of a great man! Sean was one of my best friends and I will miss him greatly. Thanks a lot, I hope you never have to be in his shoes and although I wish I could wish the worse ever, I won’t. May the lord have mercy on your soul, because you’ll need it.

  • April 18, 2012
  • Sherese Bishop

    You might want to learn more of the story before passing judgement.

  • April 19, 2012
  • Erika

    What is the story Miss Sherese? Very few people knew of the problems you two were having and selected people knew exactly what was going on. You herd him cocking the gun and telling you he was going to do it. He did what he did because he was in pain and misery that was caused by you; no other way around it … and I’m most certainly not the one to judge, someone higher will take care of that part.

  • Sherese Bishop

    Why are you looking to blame someone? Sean took his own life which is not my fault. Suicide is based upon depression and much deeper issues than just how one person made you feel. If you are successful in life with the perfect job, family etc… that can’t be attributed to just one person, same with failure. My question for those who want to blame me would be, Where were you?

    I was there trying to help Sean in the best way I knew how. I loved Sean in the best way I could without putting myself at risk. I tried to get him to go to rehab, or AA, I got him to talk to his parents about his depression, and even got him to set up a doctors appointment to go talk to someone. I did the best I could an NO ONE can blame me for that.

    So since you blame me, yet you claim to be such a good friend, I ask, where were you?

  • Erika

    I’m not looking to blame someone. I simply state what was let known to me by Sean. I wasn’t there physically because unfortunately, I don’t live in Texas. I was there for him as much as he let me be and was there every time he needed to talk that’s how I knew all that went on between you two. You’re all he ever talked about and sadly that’s all that stuck with everyone. You’re right about all the other things and issues he had and you weren’t the only one to suggest getting professional help but he shut down to many after marrying you so to answer your question of where was I? I was there when he let me be but after you, I respected his wish of being there only when he needed me. And no, I don’t think me or anyone else for that matter could’ve stopped him from doing what he did just by physically being there. I, like you, did what I could within my reach and what he would allow me to do. I’m sorry that this is how most of us who were his friends, will remember that he took his life because of the issues he had with you. It sucks I know because I think and I’m trying to see things from your perspective and to be blamed for something that had to do with other things, not just you, must really suck. I love Sean dearly; like my brother and I apologize for blaming you entirely. I’m hurt and I guess it’s just easy to blame you. But he loved you and I’m not sure he’d be too happy with me for blaming just you, so. . . if it counts for anything or matters to you. Im here if there’s anything you need.

  • Sherese Bishop

    He took his life because of the issues he had within himself, not me. He looks like the victim here because he is dead but really everyone that loved Sean and is grieving his loss are the ones suffering including you. It is easy to blame me because I was closest to him at the time but I assure you, I did what I could.

    Thank you for reaching out. I hope that someday you get the closure that you need. I truly appreciate your kind words. I know Sean would be proud to call you his friend. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know. *hugs*

  • Erika

    You’re right. We both did what we could within our reach. I think I’m mainly hurting because I wish there would have been more I could have done for him. I lost a best friend and I will miss him dearly. I won’t have someone to call “bean” anymore and tell all my troubles to. I know you lost a lot too and I’m sorry. Thanks for being there in the best way that you could Sherese, I’m actually at peace. Do you mind if I add you as a friend? After all you were the closest to him and he loved you very much and just as I was there for him, I’ll be here for you as well when and if you need a friend.

  • Sherese Bishop

     Of course. My heart goes out to you because I know what an amazing person Sean was. As someone that loves and cares about Sean I would love to be your friend. You may have lost him but I will be here for you in whatever way I can be. Thank you so much Erika. Hopefully someday we can meet.

  • Erika

    Thanks Sherese  I may have lost a brother but hopefully I gained a sister. I will keep in touch and I’m actually excited to meet you! Just know in here for you.

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