Peaceful Warrior
Apr13

Peaceful Warrior

Today marks 2 years since Sean’s suicide. I brought it up not for tears and pain but because I have so much life to share. Today is a reminder for me, not of death, but of life.  A reminder that every day is a gift and it is important to make the most of it. Tragic events in life can break us if we let them, but we don’t have to. It reminds me of the movie Peaceful Warrior. It is a movie about a warrior who thought he was...

Read More
Invisible
Mar22

Invisible

One thing I have noticed about Japan is how plain the people outwardly appear yet their culture is very loud. By this I mean that in general, people here dress and look similar. Looking at their advertisements and marketing of their products you would think this place would be full of fun people. Japanese, in general, are very shy and timid people. I got to asking people and I found out there is a HUGE pressure for success. You...

Read More

Leave Me Behind

I need to write through how I feel. Today is hard. None of this may make sense BUT it is my emotions not my rational mind. I need to purge. I feel betrayed. Not only by Sean but I feel like I let myself down. I trusted him. He hurt me. I hurt myself by letting him into my life in the first place. Today my emotions feel like the suicide was yesterday. Suicide is something that I can’t explain. It is something that you can’t...

Read More
That is Strength
Apr12

That is Strength

So much is going on right now. In my head and in my life. Yesterday I took a walk with Roxy and I had some time to clear my head and think some. It was cold out so I didn’t enjoy the weather. I was trying to find joy in my walk so I worked on obedience with Roxy teaching her to heel and walk right next to me. She is very eager to please so it was really easy. Also, I took some photos with my phone to take a minute to enjoy...

Read More

A Year

So today is a hurdle date in my head. There are 3 dates that recently I want to get through and today is one of them. I have talked to Matt a lot about it lately because it is constantly on my mind. I personally think we are conditioned to think about things in year increments (birthdays, anniversary etc…). Matt has done an amazing job at listening to me and putting up with me. I still have a lot of emotions towards what...

Read More