Start of Something Good
So many of you may be wondering what is going on in my love life. I haven’t exactly been upfront and honest. Many of you have read between the lines and are far ahead of me and of this blog.
I met Matt (aka Larry-Matt) at the beginning of the year when I was in Louisiana. There is a whole story behind it and he would probably tell it different than I would but that is the glory of this being my blog. The day we met you can read about here: Once in a Blue Moon
I didn’t want to like Matt at least not in the way I feel about him now. I looked at it as someone fun to hang out with in Louisiana but I knew I was going to Colombia and who knew what next. I guess what I am saying is I wasn’t looking for him.
We hung out every day while I was in Louisiana and when I went to Colombia I knew I would see him again I just wasn’t sure how it would work out. He ‘crushed’ on me and I knew it but I figured I would see how true that was when I went away. While in Colombia, we talked everyday.
When I got back to Texas he wanted to come see me right away but I kept putting it off. I didn’t really have a reason except I wasn’t looking for him or a relationship so it wasn’t a priority. I missed him but I wasn’t in a hurry and I wasn’t exactly nice to him either.
I finally agreed to meet up with him when I had an interview in South Texas. We took a roadtrip together and we were together everyday for 6 weeks. After some time apart, I have come to the conclusion that I don’t like it.
Many of you know I love people in general and I am impulsive without taking much time to assume the risks of decisions I make. I find a way to see the good in people (some call that optimistic some call that naive either way it is a characteristic of my personality). People that take the biggest risks are the ones that also get the biggest rewards because they are willing to take the risk when no one else is. That is how I feel about relationships but also life in general.
When it comes to relationships it is understood that it is 2 people trying to get along to better each other. Relationships are complicated. You can get your heart broken but that is part of the game and you have to sometimes. You take the good with the bad. You have to know the bad to know when you have something good. Having our hearts broken is a sign that we have tried for something and we have taken that risk.
The other day I watched Eat, Pray, Love and here is my favorite part:
“If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself….then truth will not be withheld from you.”
The point of that is that at a time I wasn’t looking for someone, someone found me. I can’t ignore my feelings and the way Matt makes me feel. I love being with him. He lets me be me more than anyone I have ever been with. Matt is so much fun to be around that I can’t help to want to be around him constantly which is out of the norm for me since I am very independent.
Today I am headed to go meet up with Matt (again) for another adventure. I am pretty sure you will be hearing a lot more about him on the blog and I know that if any of you get the chance to meet him, you will only feel as strongly about this and about “us” as I do. If you listen to this song, you will know exactly how I feel.
I’m starting to believe that this could be the start of something good!