Last night we went to RedDogs. It is a local bar. Dive bar. I get in there and it reminds me of college as there are washer boards being played and the atmosphere was very laid back. My kind of place.
So they start playing bar games. By bar games it isn’t anything I would ever expect. They took a baby bottle with beer and put it between the other persons legs and you had to suck on the bottle. I wanted to join but it took 2 people and I couldn’t talk anyone to joining me. It lacked class that is for sure. It was harmless. I enjoyed watching it more than I think I would have had I actually played. Either way, I am all about the experience.
I got to thinking about it. How often we look at what other people are doing and judge. This looks trashy/dirty. What would that say about who I am to others?
I used to judge people a lot and I freely hand out my judgement of others. People watching is some of my favorite things to do. I love people. As I have grown older and wiser, my attitude has changed significantly about judging people. I still form opinions about other people but as I said last night “I just love people who are unique and let themselves be exactly who they are” (or something like that). I really appreciate hearing people’s stories of where they have been and who they are now even if it isn’t something I agree with. It makes us who we are and well… unique.
At one point I would see people, judge them and leave it at that, now I try to talk to them and I want to make opinions. I ask questions. We all have a story. I have learned that if I can see where others are coming from I get the bigger picture and that some decisions are much harder than they seem. I love making connections with people.
To me there is a huge difference in an opinion versus a judgement. An opinion leaves room for error because we all have them and a judgement is based on an opinion. However, not all opinions are judgmental. By forming an opinion you aren’t allowing it to shape the way you feel about a someone. Judging someone is saying you know what you would do if you were in their shoes when in fact most of the time there is no way of knowing without actually being in their shoes. To me a judgement requires you to formulate an action of how that person should be. As they say opinions are a dime a dozen and everyone has them, not everyone has to pass judgement.
It is easy to look at others and point out their mistakes and think about what we would do but how is that fair when we aren’t them? We need people that are different then us or this world would be so boring. So whenever I find myself judging someone, because I do, I try to remind myself that I am unique and to embrace others uniqueness. It is important that we create the kind of person that you will be happy to live with all your life and never be ashamed of being yourself. Allow yourself to have fun because ultimately you know the person you are and that is what matters.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you everybody else- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.” -EE Cummings