New Day, New Year
I am not one for resolutions because I think at any moment we can bring about change but here are things I learned over the last year. Obviously there is WAY more than what I will write but this will be what comes to mind. It will probably be a long one….
As I look back and reflect over the last year, a lot has changed. I often question what I am doing because often times people say things that make me question myself. I have to remind myself that no one else walks in my shoes. No one else knows what I have done, where I have been, or how I have felt. I am living a life that I am proud of. To feel alive you must do something that you believe in even if those around you don’t, you have to hold the burning desire.
Over the year I have learned that the negative people are often times screaming loudest even if we may not see it at the time. Sometimes you miss out on those people screaming because you don’t know any better or you are too busy screaming yourself. What has to be realized that it isn’t the the loud screams that get recognized, it is actions. Once you realize that it takes action to make a difference, you will lead those that want the direction. They have to want it though, you can’t force it.
What you do and who you are matters even when you think it doesn’t. You can make a difference in the lives of others. Your actions make a difference in other people’s lives. When you truly care for someone love them with all you can. Those emotions have a profound effect.
You have to let yourself feel emotions; both the good and the bad. If you need to grieve, grieve. That is exactly what I am doing. So some they see me as running but I am not. I am healing. No one can tell you how to do this. When you let go of what other people think about you, you open yourself the freedom to explore your feelings and not the feelings that others say you should be feeling. Ask yourself, What would you do if no one was judging?
When you look at helping other people you will feel a change within yourself. When you can open up your life and your emotions to others it is amazing how much others relate. We all feel this need to be superhuman. To put on a front that everything is ok when reality is that it isn’t. When you put aside your front, you will connect to others on a much deeper level than ever imagined. Through other’s pain, you will find healing within.
You don’t have to be perfect to show your love. This is something I struggle with regularly because I want so bad to show love to others in their way. I now am learning to love in the way which I can. If others can’t accept it than I need to move on. Love is shown in actions not through words. So let your actions speak about love.
If you are in an unhealthy relationship (friend, lover, family) it is hard to understand why we stick around longer than we should. I think we have all been here. Sometimes it is as simple as opening up and letting others in. Sometimes others make it all about them and never about the relationship that is at hand. At that point you have to protect yourself and love yourself enough to walk away.
We long for the connection, for commitment, for love. Sometimes being single lets us discover who we are. Single can mean being yourself with yourself. While single you can focus on all the things you put off while you were focused on a relationship. Staying open to love is always important but it has to be right. I always have friends and family that love me and sometimes, that is all the love you need. Changes come deep inside so you have to know when you are ready to open yourself to the love that others have to give that will change you forever. Love can look different than you expect it to. Embrace all kinds of love.
If someone rejects you, and at some point someone will. You have to be open to rejection. Not everyone is going to think and do things your way. You can’t take it personally. It just means the time isn’t right and you have to go on. Forgive them because they deserve the right to say that you aren’t what they need in their lives right now. Again, this goes for all kinds of relationships including friends and family.
Success in anything can’t be defined by everyone. You define what makes you happy. To me Happiness=Success. Your definition can evolve, it can change, it can grow. Just don’t let others define your life for you. Love your life, love yourself, make what you can out of it and be happy. Know how you define your life and be proud of what you believe in.
Here is the deal. Over the last year I have lost a lot but I have gained so much more. Things that I thought were the best things were shattered and the worst things often turned into something positive. I know that I make mistakes. I know that often times my decisions don’t always go along with what others think they should be. That is what makes me human. You too. The beauty in being human is that I don’t have to think or act like every person out there. I am acting in good intentions. I am in no way meaning to harm anyone. In fact, I am trying to be so honest with who I am so that the effects on others are minimized. I want people to know me. In the good and bad. I am an amazing person. One who loves more than I ever thought possible.
So while I can go on and on because honestly I don’t even feel like I have touched on all I have learned… I am calling it enough and leaving you with the lyrics from a song:
BRAND NEW YEAR
Learning to turn the outside inside out (inside outside inside out)
Having the courage to find what life is all about
Loving so purely can surely melt a frozen heart
Knowing sometimes all over’s
The perfect place to start
Welcome to my revolution
Lucky you, lucky me
The way we were meant to be
This is my one resolution and I make it with no fear
To live, to love today
‘Cause it’s a brand new year
Seeing the world through rose-colored eyes
Yeah, this is my one big chance and I’m gonna take it twice
With the past down below, I know love lifted me up here
So I’ll take a breath, kiss the sky, toll the bell
‘Cause it’s a brand new year
Resiliently reclaiming me
Refining my recovery
Untwist my fate, unlock the gate
Let’s make a little noise
‘Cause it’s a brand new year
Oh, welcome to my revolution