Never Grow Up
Last night I sat around with a dozen guys much older and wiser than myself BUT don’t be fooled…. they didn’t act like adults in that moment. They are still kids at heart, we all are but we learn how to act and conform to adulthood. Sitting there listening, all I could do is appreciate the candid conversations and how these men were like kids. All I could do is smile and soak in the ridiculousness that was going on around me. Laughing.
I don’t ever want to grow up!!! What we are taught about adulthood seems so wrong. Let me explain.
Kids can have a great time no matter what is going on around them. They laugh and smile and it is so genuine. To them life is simple. You would be surprised at what we can learn from kids. As adults, we offer kids the solution to being happy again. When in reality kids are always on the hunt for what makes them happy. Hence the demand for Chuck E Cheese. Next time something is wrong, ask a kid what you should do to make it better. You will find that problems aren’t as complex as we make them and solution is simple.
Kids have an imagination that we all had at one point. Life is a big birthday party and they love to play. Their curiosity about exploring things along with their passion to experience a fun life is reason enough why we should strive to be like kids.
Our first part of growing up is getting a job. We are taught to go to school and get a good job to provide for our significant others and kids (which I will get to later). Getting a job is a part of being an independent adult. If we work as an adult as a bartender, we aren’t respected as much as if you become a doctor. Therefore, so many people strive to do something that will get them the the level of respect they seek versus the things they love. Yet no matter how you look at it, your work always benefits the higher ups more than it benefits you. Adults get so caught up in working a job they don’t enjoy to provide for a family they are pressured into having, and end up forgetting what they dreamed about as a kid. To me, what society defines as independence seems more like slavery.
In talking to someone last night, I came to the conclusion that society tells us to get married to be an “adult” so many of us feel that pressure. So most of the time, we settle as adults because getting married is part of growing up. Instead of making sure we are with someone we can spend forever with, we compromise. It is my observation that most people that stay together long term aren’t happy in their relationship, they are codependent. Society pushes us to “grow up” so we rush into marriage by marrying someone that fills minimum requirements and fills the void of our other half because society markets marriage to us as part of being an “adult”.
After we get married the main thing people want to know is when are you popping out the little ones. If you tell someone that you don’t plan on having kids, usually the response is “who will take care of you when you get old?” The fact is, most people that have kids, shouldn’t. Kids definitely suck a certain life out of people because parents will sacrifice their happiness for their kids happiness. I just don’t get the pressure society places on people to have kids in order to be an adult.
So everyone conforming to society pressures of adulthood is a coping mechanism for those who have time left and are looking to settle. There is a reason that when becoming an adult they call it settling down. People “settle” by conforming to what society tells us is the right way to live yet most just go through the motions. The “down” part means declining. When you settle you are living life for less than it could be. So why is it that society tells us to settle down in order to grow up?
I had the marriage, job but never the kids and I was settled down. I have given it all up and I am happier than I have ever been. So many people question what I am doing and why I am doing it because society defines being an adult differently. I get that my life right now isn’t for everyone. Some are truly happy with societies definition of being an adult. That is all that matters, is that you are happy. Don’t let society define your life, live your life to be happy however you define it in your life.
Being the “adult” that society tells us to be isn’t what I define as happiness in my life. I want to live like kids do and smile, laugh, simple, with an imagination, playing, exploring with a passion to live a fun life like a birthday party.
As I sit here writing this I turned on the TV because I like the background noise. I didn’t change the channel and the movie Waiting to Exhale was on first. Then the movie Jack came on and it had perfect lines that I had to look up the exact wording but here it is:
“You know why I like to teach children, Jack? So I don’t get so wrapped up in being an adult. So I can remember there are other things that are important in life – like riding a bike, playing in a treehouse, splashing in water with your good shoes on. ”
“He’s like the perfect grown up because on the inside, he’s still just a kid – he’s not afraid to learn things or try things, or to meet new people the way most grown ups are. It’s like he’s looking at everything for the first time – because he is. And most grown ups aren’t like that.”