Good in Goodbye

A year ago today, I got married. So much has changed since then. Most for the better but my heart hurts still.  What I told my friend Amber: “A year ago I was madly in love with someone, now I am madly in love with life”. While that is true, I miss that someone a great deal. I miss what he was to me and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. I am forever grateful for the time spent but here are the things from a year ago that I miss today:

I miss you in my life

Your sarcastic asshole sense of humor

How you looked at me and smiled

You telling me everything would be alright

I miss our late night talks

How you would do anything to make me laugh

I miss your carefree attitude

They way you would hold me and not want to let go

I miss your passion for the things you love

The way you made me feel

I miss wearing your clothes and smelling you

Seeing you

Touching you

I miss making you happy

and the times we spent together

I miss the trips we took

and seeing you smile

Most of all: I miss letting you know I am loving you

Whenever I feel like this, it hurts. What I try to remember is how lucky I am to have met someone I can miss so much. I am forever grateful for that time I had in my life. I cherish my life so much more because of what I went through. I know I live life now to live in the moment. Or past defines who we are today. While being married is a thing in my past, it makes me who I am today.

I find a lot of peace in music. So I share it a lot on here. I think it is a form of emotional expression. A song that speaks to me right now is Good in Goodbye by Carrie Underwood

I don’t regret it
The time we had together
I won’t forget it
But we both ended up where we belong
I guess goodbye made us strong
And yeah I’m happy

But as bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Yeah, sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

Author: admin

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