Today I asked on Facebook:
Question: What aren’t you doing that you should be doing (or doing more of)?
For me that answer is blogging. I love to write. I think about so much throughout a day that writing it down slows the thoughts and helps me think through things.
The last 4 weeks Matt and I have been working out and building a healthier lifestyle. In the process we have been working on loving ourselves more. We decided to work on this together because we do value each other and our relationship and we owe it to ourselves to be the best we can be.
Let me explain self love with an example of gift giving.
If you are a person with self love and you give a gift, it is a gift without expectation. If the person receiving the gift doesn’t like it, you accept that what you did was kind and from the heart. You feel good that you tried and even if you do feel disappointment, you still are proud of the gesture.
If you are someone without self love it is likely the gift comes with expectations. Expectations that the person receiving the gift will like it and give praises. If the person doesn’t like it, you probably feel like you failed and you didn’t reach your goal of finding reassuring value from someone else.
There is a reason that before a flight they tell you to put on your oxygen mask before tending to someone else.
Self love isn’t selfish.
Self love is putting yourself first so that in return you can be the best possible support for those around you. This means caring for yourself in the same way that you would others. It means taking care of yourself and considering your needs. Making sure that you accept yourself for everything you are. Embracing imperfections because those pieces of you still make up the whole you.
Here are some things we are doing to practice self love:
- Starting from the inside we are changing the things we put into our body. Nutrition is an important part of maintaining health. We are educating ourselves and adding healthier items to our diet.
- Working out. The last 4 weeks we have been g
- Edoing to the gym for at least 2 hours 6 days a week. It is proven that exercise is a “feel good drug”. Not to mention that getting in shape can seriously boost one’s self confidence.
- Doing things we love on our own. Last weekend Matt went to a movie alone. That is something he loves way more than I do. I did something I love which was went to bed early.
- That leads me to the next thing which is knowing it is ok to tell someone no. I didn’t want to go to the movie and usually Matt can talk me into going. We love doing things together but sometimes it is good to do it on our own and not feel bad for saying no.
- Educating ourselves. This means movies, books, reading online and talking to others about ways to improve our daily lives.
- Looking for activities that support our goals. For example: I signed up to get certified to teach group fitness classes. Matt goes to the gym on Saturday to play pickup basketball.
We all have known someone that doesn’t love themselves. If people don’t love themselves they tend to project their shortcomings on others. You have to watch what you say because if you say something wrong they take it wrong. Even saying something nice can be taken wrong. You spend a lot of energy trying to help the other person but your efforts are wasted. All the work you put into building them up seems like they are self destructing by breaking themselves down.
If you really want to love someone else, start with loving yourself so that you can give the best to them. So today, start loving yourself more. Feel love from within and know that happiness is an individual state of mind. Always remember to FLY