I Don’t Think About You
After Sean’s suicide, I was emotionally wrecked. I hit the road with Roxy and my jeep to clear my head. To figure out life. It was liberating and healing.Then I met Matt. This guy standing in front of me had gone and lived overseas for 2 years after his divorce to sort through life. I was in awe. I felt inspired. But I ran. He invited me for waffles. No thanks, Taco Bell and a night in my car instead. Curious… There are...
Old World, New Home
I am sitting here writing from one of my most beloved places the last 5 1/2 years, the airport. I love the fact that at the airport you are either going somewhere exciting or almost “home” and a place of so many emotions. Today I am closing out the “living overseas” chapter of my life and “going home”. So many mixed emotions. Matty and I are relocating back to Texas to settle down for a bit....
6 Years, Grief After Suicide
Today I celebrate life. It is a choice I make every year on April 13th. This is the first time since Sean’s suicide that the 13th has fallen on a Friday, like it did in 2012 when he took his life. I also write this blog to reflect on my journey. After it happened, I wanted to run and hide. I did in a sense when I lived in my jeep for months. I couldn’t shake the shame and guilt. I also felt ashamed that Sean had given me a...
Today We Celebrate Life
Man, this time of year is hard. I can’t believe it has been 5 years. Year one I definitely questioned if I could make it to this point and here we are! Here is a look back over the last 5 years and “lessons learned” from my blog each year. Writing is my therapy and reading what I wrote is even better because it is proof of the progress, much like a before and after photo. I wouldn’t be where I am today without...
Unconditionally
Everyone is going through their own journey and has endured pain. The amount pain influences decisions we make and when we hold onto pain, our outward actions tend to reflect that pain we feel inside. Everyone has been there. We’ve all been selfish, insensitive and hurt someone that was innocent. We are humans and being flawed comes with the territory. Lately I have been asking myself so many questions. How do you continue to...
Falling in Love with the Same Person, Every Single Day
Love is an undertaking, you have to feed it, nourish it and work like hell to make sure it thrives. I am convinced that love is to accept someone despite their imperfections and shortcomings. We live in a period wherein almost everything is disposable because replacing broken things is easier than trying to fix them. Most people don’t commit to relationship with someone for the same reason. Love is not an emotion, it is a decision....