So much going on in my life recently I wanted to share an update for anyone who still reads this blog.
First of all, we are moving. Goodbye Japan, Hello Germany. We got transferred to the Europe division which means Germany will be our new home. For now.
I don’t know about you but I am not a material person. One thing I absolutely love about moving is purging. One thing I have learned in my life is transition and I do it pretty well. For me it is easy to let go of material possessions but hard as hell for me to let go of memories and my past. I guess that is because I am all about making memories in life. I don’t want the “things”, I just want the “stories” and the life experience.
I believe that moving is change. Ok that might be a bit obvious to all of you. For me though moving isn’t just about changing the external environment but it changes me to the core.
Japan was my first overseas experience to live. Though it was only 1 1/2 years it was an experience and has changed me forever. Learning to deal with the unexpected changes the way you see the world. Routine leaves your life and I could do nothing but hold on for the ride. New places to explore, new people to meet, new habits to be developed, and most importantly new challenges to face. When someone asks about the new life abroad, it is hard to convey everything I am feeling and doing.
I can’t count the number of times people have told me they could never do what I do yet they are so envious. It really isn’t hard. I have been scared. In fact if you ask Matt, I had my share of panic moments already about our new move. I ask myself: Is this something I want? Of course my answer is yes. So I just do it. Somehow in the mix of all of that I find that courage is overrated. Once you jump, the only thing to do is enjoy the journey.
This leads me to my next adventure: Running.
I hate to run. I am not sure why but it is something that while doing it I panic and freak myself out. A very mental personal struggle and something I have never spent the time trying to conquer. Well now is that time. Today I went out and did 6 miles. Did I walk? I sure did but I completed it in about 1 hour. I find that it is in the struggle that I find strength. I don’t know why for me it is so difficult and a straight up mental challenge. You can put me on a bike and I will go all day. The minute I step out to run my breath gets shallow, I have a flood of thoughts that have me defeated from the beginning and I go into panic mode.
So then why do it, right?
I guess for a few reasons. First my sister is a runner and she talked about doing a half marathon and I dreamed about how cool it would be to be there for that. Then another insane thought crossed my mind and I thought how amazing it would be to go through the journey together. I know in an actual race she will smoke me but knowing she would be at the finish line waiting for me to cross would be all the motivation for me to keep going.
My other reason. I know that if I can run a half marathon, I can take on anything in the world. Running really is a huge struggle for me. I know no matter how good someone is at running, the struggle never goes away, it just changes. Once something gets easy we are no longer challenging who we are and that means no longer growing. So I am running to push myself as a person and grow. I know that in the struggle we become better.
So right now I am on mile 5. Meaning this week I have to get in a 5 mile run without quitting to walk. I plan to increase that distance 1 mile every week till July.
So there you have it folks. My new journey and my new struggles.