Actions Equal Truth
So I have been in a slump lately writing. Maybe it is because I have time to think because I am stationary again and it might be the bouts of tons of overwhelming emotions again. More than likely it is probably a combination. I have to remind myself that things seem to be going crazy for me but there is SO much that is still going good. So I was struggling to find the peace recently but last night I decided that sometimes the best gifts for my life are the troubles that I don’t have.
This is where this post gets confusing. I am going to just write out my thoughts and talk through it. Here goes:
Sometimes we make excuses for someone’s actions because in our minds we are trying to justify it somehow. Some call it compassion, some call it weak. What I found is that we have to be compassionate with ourselves before anyone else. Sometimes that comes in the form of acknowledging someone else’s behavior is just not right. This is seeing things as they simply are and no longer trying to make excuses.
The goal is to see things simply for what they are right? Much harder said than done but I am trying and making it a goal to stop letting people discredit my choices.
I know this for a fact. Words may be deceiving. Sometimes we lie to others because we are lying to ourselves. Actions=Truth.
Last night I got reminded by Soraya (Yolanda’s youngest daughter) that sometimes we justify what someone says because they are making you in someway feel like you are “wrong” or “crazy”.
Right now I am struggling but for some reason I am letting others (more than one person) belittle my ambitions. No matter my struggle, I have realized that I have to have relationships that support me to grow. I also have to take a stand for what is right for me.
My friend Omar who has been an amazing support system for me said this to me yesterday “I won’t pretend to tell you what to do or what I think is right or wrong. My role here as a friend is to listen to you and be here for when you need someone to talk to. I just think that having a job doesn’t mean you’re stable. A job doesn’t define you. What you do with your life does. If this makes you happy right now, keep going. Might not work for you 3 months for now. It might work for you forever. Still, what matters is the now and you know if you are where you’re supposed to be right now. If you think you are, keep doing it. Their job is to support you, whether they agree or not”.
I know that people who do respect me would encourage me and support me.They won’t let my weakness become an reason to disparage my feelings. I can’t force someone to respect me or to do the right thing. What I can do is to be someone that can be respected. Everything else is up to them. No matter how much you care, some won’t care back or don’t have the capacity. At some point you have to see the actions and realize the truth. This may mean taking action and respecting yourself enough to make the choice that best fits your needs.